He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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