And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i think my cat just said my name.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
