Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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