i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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