there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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