Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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