How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
