She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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