omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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