I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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