So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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