TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
