I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
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