cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
