i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
