i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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