I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize