did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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