Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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