I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
