you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
