Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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