it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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