Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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