Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
