My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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