non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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