I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize