how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
