A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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