You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
