using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
