I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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