hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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