with your own penis?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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