Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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