im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
