Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
