so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
