at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
