question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
