a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
