were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
