It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
