under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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