I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
