He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
