Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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