They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
