We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have fence marks all over my body
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
