Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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