My hair reeks of homosexuality.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
