p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
