the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
