i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
