Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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