Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
we should paint friendship bongs
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