I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
meet me or not, i'm out of control
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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