Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
