i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Randomize
