He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
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The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
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My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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