These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
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If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
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It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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