She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So much rum. So many feels.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Randomize
