Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
