apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
