didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
